Break down the walls

President's Opening Address by Aarti Kabra
Presented on 16 June 2016

Have you ever stopped yourself from doing something just because you thought you were not good at it? Or worse, because you did not want to appear silly or incapable to people around you? Fellow Toastmasters and guests, it's confession time! I am guilty of doing that many a times. Many a times, I have changed course or looked away the other side, telling myself, that’s not my cup of tea. With this attitude, as a student, I gave a miss to some very good developmental opportunities that came my way. Whether it was joining the student elite mathematics club or participating to qualify for school athletics team or any other activity that could expose my flaws. One such opportunity was playing the game of chess. 

My early memory of the game is about losing to a smarter but younger cousin who carried a smirk on his face every time he slaughtered me in the game! When I had had enough of it, I decided Chess was not the game for me and I was never going to play it again!

As they say, never say never, the 64 black & white-squared that I had thrown out of my life long time back, resurfaced to haunt me again.  My son who has been taking chess lessons for a while, challenged me to a game. I cringed inside but smilingly accepted the challenge. It's all about setting a good example you see!

No sooner did we begin that I realized I had foolishly lost the most powerful piece in the game, my queen! All those past unpleasant memories of losing the game came back to torment me. Instinctively I felt a strong urge to quit and walk away. Continuing the game at this point meant my bluff would be called. The image of this intelligent & confident mom that my son carried with him all these years would come crashing down. Quitting the game on the other hand, would be catastrophic, challenging the very values that I have been trying to teach him. Values like resilience, perseverance, patience would become mere words if I could not walk the talk. I was in catch-22. 

No prizes for guessing what I eventually did. Not wanting to falter on my parental duty, I decided to continue. I gathered my composure, kept my focus on and lo behold, the outcome was not so bad. I managed to bring myself from the losing position to almost winning the game but my lack of training came in between and the game ended up in a stalemate. I wish I had not stopped playing chess back then. Nevertheless, I was very happy with my game and more importantly with the fact that for once I did not look away and change course.  My painful memories were instantly replaced by this pleasant experience. I know it's a matter of time before I start losing to my son but that will be another moment of pride for me. For now, I am contented to learn that the walls of incompetence confining me were built by myself and breaking them down is all I have to do to free myself. 

We all carry such walls in our mind - walls that stop us from trying some thing for the first time or trying something the second time when we have failed the first time. The important thing to understand is that they were created by us and we have the power to bring them down!